Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Who invented Words with Friends?!?!

I need to know so I can add them to my hit list. Seriously. I don’t have a fancy phone – I’m still loving my blackberry. However, the Hubs has some fancy computer phone that does everything but the dishes.


Unfortunately John Paul has this app on his phone. (actually it’s Word Feud, my bad)  If you aren’t familiar it’s like Scrabble. You play a word then your “friend” plays a word.

Conveniently, every time it’s your turn your phone will so kindly let you know. What I need to know is why the hell these people are up at 3am playing this game.

The next time I am awakened by “bing-bong” and a pleasant little message that says “It’s your turn!!” I’m going to take the phone and throw it in the toilet.

Now if that’s not bad enough, we cannot do anything together without breaks for John Paul to play his word. It causes me to say not nice things about the unknown person he’s playing against. And these games….they last for days. Days people. And when it’s over, do not fear, it prompts you to start a new game! Yay!

Maybe I’m just jealous because I don’t have an awesome phone. Or maybe I’m just pissed because I’m busy growing a human and he’s trying to come up with an awesome word to show his opponent who’s boss.


If you’re a new follower thanks for stopping by! Nothing makes me happier than making new bloggy friends! Leave me a comment so I can follow your blog too!

Happy Tuesday! I’m off to the doctor in the morning and I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I whip out the mile long list of every reason why this pregnancy is going to kill me.

Stay tuned!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Bumpdate…a little late!

week 12

Yay for 12 weeks! (We should note that my bumpdate is actually on Saturday but considering I sleep all weekend it is obvious that I do not blog.)

I always feel like a loser when I take these pics. I feel like Ricky Bobby on Talladega Nights….I don’t know what to do with my hands! And I hate the side face fat roll that appears when I turn my head! Sad day. Moving on…

How far along? 12 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: No weight gain so far – even though my lovely husband and mother think I’ve gained – I’m sticking with the scales.

Maternity clothes? I’m wearing my belly band with most pants now. 

Sleep: For some reason I cannot sleep at night anymore. Naptime is awesome. I actually look forward to Bert going back to work so I can have the bed to myself at night. Is that ugly?

Food cravings: Sushi – it rocks my socks off and I can’t get enough of it!

Gender: No clue. Does this baby have a penis?? I can’t wait to find out!

What I miss: Wine. I really really miss wine. And it’s weird because I’m not a wino.

What I am looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat on Wednesday!

Weekly Wisdom: Sleep when you can. Pee a lot so you don’t “accidently” pee on yourself. :)


I need to go ahead and put this out there….just so y’all can remind me later in case I have memory loss or something.

I really don’t understand how people do this pregnancy deal more than once…on purpose. Maybe I will feel differently later but for now I’m convinced that I’m dying.

Chest pain, weird (how come I can’t spell this word correctly? Spell check fixes it every. single. time.) left arm pain, sore throat, extreme itching, inevitable death.

I hope everyone is having a great Monday.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Why is there always pee on the floor?

First off we need to update on John Paul’s lab partner. Yesterday was “the big day” and I had a blast torturing my husband about his choice. I mean in my {adult} opinion it is best to choose a smart partner that you can cheat off of rather than a hottie that you can cheat with. :)

This was our text convo:

Psycho Wife: Did you choose your partner? Is she hot?

Hubs: ……

PW: So send me a pic!

Hubs: WTF? No.

PW: What’s her name so I can stalk her on facebook.

Hubs: Will you please shut up?

PW: You’re rude !

Hubs: ignores me for the next 2 hours

He stopped by my office for the big reveal and his lab partner…..Neil. A dude. I’m still working on the last name so I can fb stalk him!

Anyway….back to peeing on the floor….and please note I am not the one peeing on the floor. I just happened to observe my husband as he went to pee when he woke up last night. Let me show you how he stands while he pees.


He doesn’t even look where he’s peeing. Now all they have to do is point and shoot. And in my opinion the toilet bowl is pretty large. I asked him nicely to please pay attention to where he’s peeing because it is absolutely disgusting to scrub pee off the floor. And this people is why I pray for a daughter. So she can keep me sane. Obviously my husband doesn’t need to potty train a boy!

Happy Thursday! It’s almost the weekend!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Who Needs a Lab Partner??

I obviously did not do a bumpdate this weekend because I am ridiculously lazy. But I will share the picture that the hubs took Friday morning – if, and ONLY if, you promise not to make fun of my insane posture. My mother makes fun of the way I stand. It’s like I arch my back or stick my chest/stomach out for  no apparent reason other than I’m a douche.


It also appears that my hair is in my face and LeRoy wanted a little face time on the blog so he snuck in the picture.

As far as any update, please note everything is the same. I’m still peeing on myself, craving sushi, not gaining weight, and wishing I knew if this baby has a penis.

I’ve also been having palpitations and freaking out and thoughts of dying in my sleep. Alone. Other than that I think I’m starting to feel better.


I met a girl (a friend of a friend, not some rando) who is 5 months preggo. I am as large as her. Let’s try to pretend like I don’t look 12 months pregnant. K thanks.

And for the blog title….John Paul is going back to school. Just what I need. Hot college girls distracting my hot non-college husband. He has to choose a lab partner tomorrow. He’s threatening to choose the “hot chick. The really bangin’ hot chick.” He’s an ass. I countered with the threat to accompany him to class – for some reason I think he doesn’t take me seriously. Probably because he knows I’m too lazy to look for a parking spot. He’s trying to stress me out and he thinks it’s hilarious that I will keep getting fatter and the hot chicks will keep getting hotter. He’s hilarious!

I hope y’all have a great week!

P.S. Vote for the gender of Baby D! Note: There is no pressure to vote girl. None at all. Just be sure that the hubs is wrong and I am right. He thinks he is incapable of raising a girl.

Thursday, August 19, 2010


I’m so excited it’s Thursday! Only 1 more work day…yay!!

- Mags got to come home yesterday and she is feeling so much better! Thanks for all your sweet thoughts!

- I woke up at 2 this morning to pee – this is the first time this has happened – I hope this was a freak thing because I couldn’t go back to sleep and I need my sleep!

- I’m still {patiently} waiting for my “pregnancy glow.” I’m wondering when this is going to kick in and if it will appear as though I have a tan. I’m looking pretty pasty these days! And rather oily.

- The hair on my legs grows so insanely fast! It’s disgusting!

- My boobs are taking over my body. It’s unfortunate for me – my husband thinks it’s awesome. Why do your boobs have to get so big so soon??!!

- Bert (the hubs a.k.a. John Paul) decided we were going to be vegetarians which is fine with me – I’ve tried to make the switch several times but I suck at committing to things like lack of food and exercise – so I left work yesterday and picked up Wing Zone for supper – let’s blame it on the pregnancy brain! We ate it with slight guilt and vowed to NEVER break the rule again. Yeah right.

- I suck at taking pictures and my camera is never charged and I blog from work usually so my posts are boring and lack pictures – starting today I am going to take tons of pictures and post for your viewing pleasure!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Update on Mags

My little princess is still at the vet. The doc called yesterday and said he was waiting one more day on the surgery. She is still not eating and he started her on IV fluids. They are still doing x-rays to see where the barium is going. Apparently it isn’t moving through her gut as it’s supposed to.

I sat at my desk at work and cried like a stressed, hormonal pregnant woman, because I couldn’t pick her up yesterday. I didn’t have the balls to ask what my vet bill was – home girl has been getting an x-ray every hour for the past 2 days. I know it’s all worth it but can you sell a kidney while your pregnant??

I got another call from my amazing vet yesterday afternoon. He said Maggie had “passed” the squeaker from a toy and a sh*t-ton of pine straw. Hopefully this was the problem and she didn’t ingest the entire toy. She’s still at the vet today and they will start her on a bland diet. If she keeps it down she MIGHT be able to come home tonight.

I went home last night and threw away EVERY toy we had. This has been a terrible experience. If you have any tips on toys that are indestructible please let me know. I kept her tennis balls and one kong toy but anything she can tear up I tossed.

Thanks for your sweet comments and thoughts. I can feel the love and I’m sure Mags can too! Y’all are awesome!

Monday, August 16, 2010

One Sick Puppy

Literally.  :(

My pretty pretty princess Maggie is super sick. It all started with vagina issues – seriously. Apparently she needs a vagina lift, but that’s been put on hold. I mean if the Hubs won’t let me have any more plastic surgery I don’t see where the dog can get a vagina lift.

Anyvagina, Mags never got to feeling better and we took her back in for some blood work and urinalysis. Her thyroid levels were low, liver enzymes were high, and her cholesterol was 432.

Last week we started her on a medication for her liver and an antibiotic and prayed that she would feel better soon. Well she hasn’t eaten since Wednesday so it was back to the doctor today for a barium swallow. Apparently Mags has eaten some foreign object and has a bowel obstruction of some sort.

She has to stay at the vet tonight and I must admit I am having a slight panic attack. I hate for my babies to be sick and I know she’s scared and sleeping in a cage will not make her feel better. Tomorrow is exploratory surgery to see just what might be lodged in there and to hopefully remove it.

If the surgery shows nothing then it’s off to Mississippi State for more tests. I’m trying not to be upset but I know all my fellow doggie moms can relate! It’s hard to have a sick puppy.

So send up some prayers for my baby girl!


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Bumpdate and Bloggy Award!


Please excuse the way I look in this picture. It’s quite unfortunate. I feel very bloated versus feeling pregnant.

How far along? 10 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: No weight gain so far.

Maternity clothes? Not yet. I did by a Belly Band to make wearing jeans more comfortable.

Sleep: Sleep is awesome and I can’t get enough of it!

Food cravings: I haven’t really had any specific cravings other than sushi.

Gender: No clue. But I’m thinking girl while the Hubs and his family all think boy.

What I miss: Wine.

What I am looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat at the next appointment.

Weekly Wisdom: If you happen to think, “Did I just pee on myself? No way did I just pee!” – It’s probably true. Also if you hate pregnancy please pick up the book Pregnancy Sucks by Joanne Kimes – thanks for the suggestion Amber

Milestones: I’m 1/4 of the way through my pregnancy! Woo Hoo!


Jordan at The Deflon Family gave me a bloggy award!








1- Thank and link back to the person that sent this to you- Thanks Jordan!! I am loving your blog and I love new bloggy friends!

2- Share 7 things about yourself.

- We are die hard Alabama fans!! Roll Tide!! – (I hope I don’t lose any of my Tennessee or Auburn bloggy friends!)


- We have 2 cats as well as Dayne and Maggie – the cats rarely get face time on the blog because they hate being photographed!


- I work as a loan officer at a small loan company – not really exciting!


- I am the biggest chicken and I rarely face any of my fears – what can I say, I’m a weenie!


- I’m addicted to reality tv – the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Big Brother – love them all!


- I am completely neurotic about some things but I am a terrible housekeeper! I never clean unless John Paul will help me!


- I am completely terrified that this baby will be a boy and I won’t have a clue what to do with him!

I’m supposed to pass the award on to 15 other bloggers but because I am running out of energy I will list a few blogs that I think are fab.

Be sure to check out Jordan’s blog – she sent a lot of great girls my way!


Little Woman, Little Home – she gave me a shout out and sent a lot of lovely girls my way! She rocks.


LG – she just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy Fenn and her posts rock!


Susannah – she has a sweet baby girl Emma and a great blog! Go check her out!


Rachael – she’s 32 weeks preggo with a baby boy!


Gina – she’s 37 weeks pregnant and trying like hell to go into labor! Go visit her!


*Tyly* – new follower and fellow animal lover. We love crazy animal people!


 Smile Steady –  a super cute dental hygienist with an equally cute blog!


Sarah -  she left me a comment that made my day. love her blog and her honesty!


Amber – she has been a life saver and a wealth of info for my pregnancy concerns. I love her honesty. go visit her blog!


I am so thankful for all my new visitors and the sweet comments y’all have left! They have truly made me feel better. You guys are awesome!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

I’m Giving Pregnancy….

Update: Apparently my blog posts are giving some people the wrong idea. We are very excited to be expecting our first child. I use this blog as a means to write down how I feel and not to offend other people. I just wanted to make sure you understand that we wanted this baby. I just need to get out how I am truly feeling. And when I said I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel I just meant that it seems like forever until we get to meet our baby. Not that I'm not excited.

I can't promise to tone down my posts, but I can promise to be honest about how I'm really feeling. If my posts offend you then I am truly sorry because that is not my intention.

Original Post:
4 Thumbs Down! (I’m including my husband’s thumbs considering he’s all suicidal)
Now I hate to be a complainer and b*tch about things, but let’s face it: I am. I need to go ahead and let you know now that I’m knocked up this blog will be full of TMI and things you’d probably rather not know. But hey I want to remember this {wonderful} experience. :)
Now if you are one of the strange ones that loved/s being pregnant, stay tuned, my mood just might change. (But I doubt it)
Things I currently hate about pregnancy:
- I see no light at the end of the tunnel – I have til March to grow this little tadpole
- The next person to ask me what I’m going to do with my dogs is going to get punched in the face. What do you think I’m going to do? Get rid of them? I think not!
- I have never been so tired in my life.
- My husband likes to remind me that the slight bump everyone feels the need to rub is just a fat roll - Not really the baby. 
- I need sushi in my life.
- My husband now thinks we are poor. It’s unfortunate.
- We don’t agree on anything. Diapering, names, furniture – these are the most argued.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am so excited that we are having a baby (and I think JP is too – I’ll double check though) I just feel like crap, hate taking those damn vitamins, and I have serious doubts that my “Motherly Instinct” is going to show up in time for me to raise this kid. No need to call DHR – we will figure this out. Or ask one of you to come live with us!
Thanks for all the sweet comments! I love y’all!

Monday, August 9, 2010

So….I’m Knocked Up….

Let’s get the story of how I came to be knocked up. Minus the explicit details. I’m pretty sure y’all know where babies come from. :)

Bert and I had actually been talking about trying to get pregnant. With the new move and our decision to wait a couple years for John Paul to apply to anesthesia school, it seemed like the right time. So at the beginning of June I stopped my birth control. We thought nothing of it and then I got sick. So we stopped trying. Cue the weekend of July 4th.

On the 2nd I got up and I wasn’t feeling too spiffy. I convinced Bert that I needed to take a test just to make sure I wasn’t pregnant before I went out and got wasted to celebrate the 4th.

I peed on the little stick and went and laid down. Bert was the one who actually checked the test. The look on his face was priceless! Honestly neither one of us expected the test to be positive. Oops. :) I took another test and sure enough both said “Pregnant” Yay us!

Or so I thought. We were both so excited until we found out my insurance wasn’t going to cover my pregnancy. Enter meltdown. We finally got our insurance straightened out and I thought all was hunky dory again. Apparently I was wrong.

Side note: My husband just possibly might be the most dramatic person I have ever encountered. Please keep this in the back of your mind as I continue on with the story. :)

My mom tells me that she asked John Paul if he was excited. This is how the convo went:

Wen: So are you super excited about the baby??

Bert: Well I am now.

Wen: You weren’t always excited?

Bert: Well…I was excited. Then I was depressed. Then suicidal. Now excited again.

Wen: Oh ok. (as if that was a perfectly normal response)

Excuse me?? My husband was SUICIDAL? Because I was pregnant? This is not normal. He’s so dramatic. Me and my mom were cracking up! This was the first I had heard of his deep depression and suicidal thoughts. Puh-lease!

Now he’s over it. I think. Just pray. We are going to be parents and we are so not normal it’s not even funny. I think we can pull it off. If I can keep the hubs stable.

Love you guys!!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

First Appointment

I had my first ultrasound today and it was awesome! I thought I would share a little info with y’all.

- I am 8 1/2 weeks preggo

- Due date is March 12th

- Heart rate was 171


A few things I’ve learned since being knocked up:

- Pregnancy is not for everyone. At week 5 I was over it. I am starting to feel better now though!

- The “Pregnancy Glow” is complete bullsh*t. I’m thinking the “glow” might be a mix between excessive oil and lingering sweat from dry heaving all day.

- My husband and I cannot agree on any names. Not even one. Please help!

- Old people should not drive large cars because they cannot park. (This applies whether I’m pregnant or not.)

- I had many more things to list but since I can’t stay awake more that 3 hours at a time, I must go take a nap!


Thanks so much for all the congrats! We are very excited. I will share my husband’s overly dramatic “we’re pregnant” experience tomorrow!