Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Doctor’s Appt and Rando Questions

Yesterday’s appointment was very uneventful. I did not have a list prepared – you know like last time. I always think of like 700 things that are wrong with me after I leave. It’s unfortunate for me, but very fortunate for the doctor. I’d hate for him to know how crazy I am. :)

We heard Baby D’s heartbeat and it sounded strong – and wonderful. The heart rate was 154. We scheduled our ultrasound for 4 weeks – October 26th – this just so happens to be my birthday so mark your calendars! :)

Now onto some rando questions for my bloggy friends…

Did you have maternity pictures made??? We have been arguing about this. The hubs thinks it’s a waste of money but would also like some redonkulous nude photos made. Like porn style people. But HE wants to be naked – like John Lennon style.


Now I haven’t quite figured out if he’s serious. I’m all for unique pictures and I’m very open-minded. Not sure everyone wants to see naked pictures of my non-pregnant husband. But I want opinions. Should we have some preggo pictures made? Did you? And even if you didn’t have naked pictures made I would value your input.

What are your thoughts on cloth diapering? I get mixed opinions on this and my mother is definitely against it. I really want to try but I’m not sure if I can deal with all that goes with it. I’ve had lots of people tell me to start stock piling diapers but I don’t want to buy a bunch of disposables if I can do cloth.

Those are the only 2 I can recall right now. I hope everyone has an awesome week. I have been super b*tchy lately so lets hope for Bert’s sake that I can let up.

Keep your fingers crossed that the penis wire is removed next Thursday. Potentially only 1 more week listening to him cry about his manhood. :)

Monday, September 27, 2010



Sorry the picture is quite ghetto….and I look rough.

Total Weight Gained: Doctor appointment in the am so I will update you on the fatness factor. 

Maternity Clothes:  I need some maternity tops – my boobs no longer fit pleasantly into my normal tops.

Sleep: Some nights it’s great. Most nights I need like 20 more hours.

Best Moment of the Week: Alabama coming back and beating Arkansas. I know that does not pertain to Baby D but I’m pretty sure he/she cares.

Food Cravings: Pickled okra. Hands down the best craving I’m having.

Food Aversions: Eggs

Symptoms: Acne. Bleeding gums – I find this completely random and I find no relation to pregnancy, but whatevs. I’m still not mentioning the bowels.  

Movement: No. Seriously?!?!? When am I supposed to feel this baby move?

Gender: I’m 99% sure the baby has a penis. Or a vagina.

What I miss:  Wine. Beer. Oh and wine.

What I'm looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat tomorrow. My husband’s penis wire being removed – someday.

Weekly Wisdom: I’m fresh outta wisdom. It’s been one hell of a week at this house.

Milestones: 4 months. Woo Hoo!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Friday Randomness

Woo Hoo it’s Friday! I hope y’all watched Grey’s last night! I have been waiting all summer for “the shows” to start back!

So I ordered a prenatal yoga dvd and holy mother of pearl I almost died. I need MAJOR yoga help! This is what I imagined…


And this is how I felt…


I’m totally going to stick with it – you know like I always do – because I think it will be helpful for the delivery. I have no previous yoga experience and the next day I thought my butt cheeks were going to fall off. Any tips are greatly appreciated! :)


I was surprised at how many bloggy friends said they would actually come over for dinner….y’all are too sweet. Just to let you know we will be having canned tomatoes and pickled okra!


I really want my baby to have a name. I feel bad calling baby d “it.” I keep thinking of the book A Child Called It and while I can’t really remember the content of the book, I’m pretty sure it didn’t have a happy ending. I will now refer to my tadpole as “baby d.” That’s fitting.


I know this post was completely random but I am practically falling asleep at work and just thought I would share some random thoughts with y’all! Have a good weekend!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Bad Mood Betty

It’s time for a bumpdate post but I really haven’t had time and I don’t have a super hot picture of my side-face-fat-roll to share. So a brief update on my status will have to do.

I’m still pretty much hating this whole pregnancy thing but I’m starting to adjust. And I try to find the positive in this amazing experience because I’m pretty convinced this is a one-time deal. :) My newest craving is pickled okra which is equally as disgusting as canned tomatoes. Oh and my boobs have officially taken over my body. That’s pretty much all that’s going on with that.


Moving on to the Hubs….


This is his post op picture and boy was he pissed. They were only able to do one stone because his stones are so dense and apparently they can only zap you with that machine so many times before you die – kidding. But really they could only do one and he had a reaction to the antibiotic they gave him so when he woke up and asked me 79 questions he was pissed at every answer I gave.

Once he was ready for discharge the nurse came in with his follow-up appointment to have his stint removed and drum roll……he has to keep it for 3 weeks. Bad mood Betty is so pissed because he has a wire hanging out of his mister.

I’m auctioning him off to the highest bidder. It’s pretty bad living with a pregnant b*tch but try living with the both of us! Hormonal crazy woman and the man with a stint in his penis. Who wants to come over for dinner??

Friday, September 17, 2010

Thursday’s Drama

Can I please just mention that I LOVE my bloggy friends?! When I get an email that someone commented on my blog I pee in my pants a little! I’ll find myself telling John Paul about my friend so and so and he’s all like….umm…who the hell is that?! And when I say, you know, she blogs! – He looks at me like I’m crazy. But whatever….I’m friends with him today so I won’t say anything ugly about him. :)


Moving on…..we had a very eventful day yesterday to say the least. John Paul is scheduled to have lithotripsy done Tuesday. The boy has ridiculous kidney stones and they’re too big to pass. The doc will go in and bust them up, place a stint in his manhood and send him home for me to deal with. :) I’m totally prepared for this because we did this last November.


Yesterday morning when he got off work he went for some blood work and headed home. I got a text at about 12 saying, “Come get me! I’m dying!”  or something along those lines. I headed home and we headed to the ED. For the duration of the car ride all I heard was random bursts of, “oh. oh. oh.” Dude was feeling some pain. Now I’m hoping he will be able to sympathize with me when I’m in labor but I’m pretty sure he thinks there’s nothing worse than his pain.

Luckily the hubs has worked with most of the nurses out there and one is a really close friend. When we got there we headed straight back – now I know this pisses people off but sometimes it pays to be a nurse when you need to head to the emergency room!

After a couple IV’s of pain meds he started feeling better. We waited to be discharged for 4 hours! WTH?! I was starving. And freaking because they had to move us to bring in a baby who wasn’t breathing. Now we weren’t at the main hospital in town so I was kinda worried about the baby. When they brought him in he was crying so I’m pretty sure he was breathing by then.

We finally got out and got home and I finally ate and all is better now. We just have to make it to Tuesday without another episode. The CT showed 2 stones -  9mm and 11mm – that explains the pain. Stay tuned for my cries of help on Tuesday! The hubs kinda freaks about the stint in his wee-wee!

Happy Friday Friends!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I’m so vain….

Because I’m still bloated….and pregnant….and vain….I decided to post the music video from my wedding.

Also because I’m in a bad mood and I have nothing funny or interesting to blog about. If you feel like it check out the video. I think it’s awesome but I am partial. Happy Thursday!!!

p.s. I’m required to mention that JP has lost about 25 pounds since the wedding and no longer has a “fat neck.” Thanks and please keep this in mind or I will be in trouble!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bumpdate!! Woo Hoo!!


I really hate taking these pictures! I asked JP if I had a side face fat roll and he so kindly responds, “Well yeah!” Thanks friend. :)

Total Weight Gained: I’m currently refusing to get on the scale at home so I’m holding on to 1.4lbs gained.

Maternity Clothes:  Yes and No. I can wear some shirts and dresses but I’m so flippin’ bloated I can’t wear any pants without the belly band.

Sleep: I need sleep. For reals. I’m waking up between 3 and 5 every morning. Dayne is still waking up occasionally to pee too. How sweet!

Best Moment of the Week: Not peeing on myself any! Not even once! Woo Hoo!

Food Cravings: Tomatoes. Canned tomatoes! And has anyone tried the Simply Lemonade with Raspberry?! To die for!!

Food Aversions: None really. I’m not feeling the caffeinated drinks so much.

Symptoms: Acne. Major teenage puberty acne. And lets not even talk about the bowels okay?

Movement: When am I supposed to feel this baby move?

Gender: Who the hell knows. I give up on trying to “just know.”

What I miss:  Wine. Beer. My crazy pills.

What I'm looking forward to: Hmm…only 6 weeks till we find out the gender!

Weekly Wisdom: I have turned into a mega B*tch. It’s quite unfortunate for the hubs. He told me I was a crybaby. This is true. I guess a little wisdom would be to only complain like once a day. That way you can play the pregnancy card without any guilt!

Milestones: I survived another week! And better yet, the hubs survived his off week with me. And I didn’t try to kill him. Not even once. :)


I’m glad it’s  Tuesday. We need to mention that my actual bumpdate is on Saturday but everyone knows I’m too lazy to pick up my laptop on the weekends and I left work sick yesterday. I will try harder! Have a great week!

Friday, September 10, 2010

TGIF and a Bloggy Award!

I am so flippin' happy that its Friday! This has been the worst week, and even though I only worked 4 days, I really need a break!

I have a super depressing post to write but I can’t bring myself to write it, yet. I hate depressing posts but anyway, it involves a death in the fam.

I am looking forward to the Alabama game this weekend! The hubs is going and taking one of his friends. I will be watching the game at home with this little guy….


I am keeping him on all home games so his parents can attend. Jackson is John Paul’s godson and we just love him! Plus me and the fur children need a little baby practice. :)



Jenny at Bits & Pieces of my Life tagged me for this bloggy award! Thanks friend! Jenny is a fellow Tide fan and she loves Twilight….it can’t get any better than that! Go check her out! Now. K. Thanks.


Thank the person giving the award.

Share seven things about yourself.

Nominate 7 newly discovered blogs.

7 things about me:

I have this really weird spot on my left elbow, I like to call it a crusty patch because it sounds so lovely, and Maggie also has a crusty patch on her left elbow! How weird is that? I lotion hers when I do mine every night. :)

We live and breathe Alabama football.

I am so obsessed with my hands being dirty. I wash them at least 10 times a day and it drives John Paul insane!

I am an only child and I love it. My parents are divorced and both remarried and still it’s just me.

I am so worried about stretch marks. I am constantly rubbing on lotion. Is this even preventable?

My husband is a food Nazi. This is a post all in itself.

I am a self diagnosed (backed by McSteamy) hypochondriac.

I nominate...only 4 because I am super busy at work!



Mrs. Werginz


I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Bumpdate…Late of Course!

week 13

I cropped my face out because frankly, I looked like sh*t. It is no secret that I no longer care what I look like, but after seeing the way I look in this picture I vow to try harder. :)

I feel less pregnant and more bloated each day. The bloat is KILLING me. But hopefully I will have a “baby” bump soon.

I am so pasty and pale that I could pass for a Cullen. My body is screaming for a tan. I need to work on that while it’s still hot outside.

How far along? 13 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 1.4lbs 

Maternity clothes? Still wearing the belly band with most pants. Shirts and dresses are fine.

Sleep: I wake up to pee between 3 and 5 every morning. And on that rare morning that I don’t have to pee, Dayne does. I think he is having sympathy symptoms.

Food cravings: My recent craving is tomatoes! I ate 2 cans of stewed tomatoes – gross I know – this weekend.

Gender: I can’t decide if the baby has a penis. Some days I think no, then I think yes. So for those of you that “just knew” I need to know how. Because as of right now, my baby is a hermaphrodite.

What I miss: Wine. I still miss wine. And now that it’s football season, I kinda miss beer too. Am I an alcoholic?  

What I am looking forward to: Umm…the baby being born. In like 70 months. 

Weekly Wisdom: If you don’t get your way it never hurts to cry. And these days I can cry at the drop of a hat. I think my husband is running out of sympathy, but he’s trying to hang in there.


I hope y’all had a great weekend, and I hope all your teams won….even Auburn and Tennessee. :)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

2nd Doctor Visit

I had my second appointment this morning and everything went well. My mom went with me to hear the heartbeat and Bert had class so he couldn’t make it.

I weighed and for those of you who just knew I had gained weight, my husband and mother, you were right. I am up 1.4lbs. Congratulations! You suck. :)

We got to hear the heartbeat on the doppler and the heart rate was 155. Now, we need to discuss the location of this heartbeat.


Please note the location of the vagina in the picture above. The nurse couldn’t find the heartbeat so she kept going lower and lower until she was all up in my personal space, if you know what I mean. She might as well have violated me. She found the heartbeat and in my opinion the baby was ridiculously low, like growing inside my vagina. This could cause problems. I think.

So either my baby is growing inside my va-jay-jay, or it has acquired it’s own heartbeat. Lovely.

I showed up at my appointment with my list in hand! Now if you know me in real life then you know I’m a hypochondriac. If you don’t – this is me admitting it.


My mother was totally embarrassed when I whipped out the Blackberry and read the doctor my list of “ailments” as I like to call them. He laughed and I told him that I had to tell somebody because my husband wouldn’t let me call and tell him I was having a heart attack anymore. I know. He’s rude.

Let’s go over the list:

  • chest pain
  • left arm pain
  • itching
  • sore throat
  • LLQ pain – left lower quadrant pain – I abbreviated on the list!
  • palpitations

So apparently I’m pregnant! Who knew. And I’m going to live. And I won’t die of a heart attack. Please, you don’t have to worry, but thanks for the concern!

We can find out the sex of the baby at the end of October! Yay!

Also we have to decide if we want the Quad4/AFP test done. It’s a prescreen that tells you the odds of having a child with a birth defect. I need opinions. Did anyone do this?? I’m thinking it will cause unnecessary stress. Let me know what you think!

Happy Wednesday!