Surviving Labor–Induction Style

It’s possible I promise! I really wasn’t too fond of being preggers and I could not wait to meet my baby. I was terrified of labor until I was about 32 weeks pregnant. The closer I got to full term the more I didn’t care what I had to experience to just get the kid out of me! Once my induction was scheduled I was at peace with the fact that my vag may never be the same!

There are a few things you need to know about being induced. It was the best decision for me but that doesn’t mean it will be for everyone else. I was that pregnant girl who called the OB all the time and constantly complained about the pains of pregnancy. I’m pretty sure my doc was over me by the time Turner McCartney arrived.

- Spray tans are crucial. The day before induction everyone should get sprayed. I totally googled it and it’s safe for the baby as long as you aren’t a huffer and you don’t inhale ridiculous amounts of spray tan stuff. You need to look good for all the pics people will be taking.

- You definitely should shower before you go. You may never get to bathe again so take advantage of this time. Also do hair and makeup – I think it was a month before I wore makeup again!

- Be prepared for the water breakage. It was weird and uncomfortable. At this point in the game you should be used to being violated so that part won’t bother you at all.

- Pitocin is contraction magic. I swear I went from feeling nothing to the fetal position in about 5 minutes. It really works!

- Ummm I’m not sure how to tell you this but having a baby hurts. Be prepared. Contractions are insane and I have no clue how women have natural child birth.

- Epidurals are your friend. I was such a wuss and I promise it wasn’t bad at all. Just a little stinging and then it’s all good. I wish I would have gotten it sooner. There’s no need to suffer! Don’t be scared the epidural rocks!

- You need to be prepared for total vag destruction. I didn’t feel anything but pressure after my epidural but once the baby was out and it was time to attempt to repair the taint, it became quite unpleasant. And recovering from vag/taint destruction really sucks. I recommend sitting on a doughnut blow up thing at all times. And lots of hot baths – you know in all your free time.

- Just know your taint will never be the same. But it’s totally worth it!

I had the best labor and delivery experience and I feel truly lucky that everything went so smoothly. Try not to stress and make it a fun experience! Takes lots of pictures and make sure you get everything you want. Labor and delivery is all about mom – it’s totally ok to be a demanding bitch. You just grew a baby and carried it around for 40 weeks. :)

If you want to read the birth story check it out here and here.

Go link up your labor tips!

TM’s Birth Story – Part 2

Don’t cheat! Go read Part 1 because you know you wanna!

It is super important to mention that I got a spray tan the day before I gave birth. I cannot believe I forgot to share this info with y’all! Feel free to make fun but I was in desperate need of a tan and I didn’t want to scare TM with my pasty-ness.

Moving along….I got the epidural and all was unicorns and rainbows blah blah blah.

We need to revisit contractions. I had people tell me that contractions feel like period cramps. Ummm not sure what kind of hellacious period you have but my period cramps usually don’t feel like death. Get an epidural people. It will change your life!

So after the epi all my lovely friends and fam rejoined us. There were at least 79 people in the room and I felt great for a little while. All of a sudden I felt the worst pressure you can imagine. Shall we have graphic detail? Yes?! Of course. I felt like my a** was going to explode. Surely this is not normal…..I tried whispering to my nurse to let her know I needed to push or my butt was exploding. Since this was my first rodeo I wasn’t really sure which was correct.

She went in search of the doc while everyone socialized around me and I died a slow and painful death of anal pressure. A little before 2 the doc came in and checked me and it was go time! 10cm. Woo Hoo!!! (He then oh so conveniently left and I had to rely on my husband to keep me alive! – okay there was a nurse there too – and my mommas!)

I started pushing right around 2. Dude pushing out a kid is hard! Extremely hard. And you have to hold your breath and push for 30 seconds and it seems like 30 hours. Seriously. Apparently TM wasn’t in a hurry to make her appearance because it took 40 forevers or a little over an hour for her head to “crown.” Y’all it felt like I pushed for days before they could see her head. And I know this will be hard to believe but I didn’t say not ONE ugly word while I was pushing! Yay me!!!

The doc came down around 3 because they thought I was oh so close to delivering. Sike! I could not get homegirl’s head out. It was horrible. I think they told me “ONE MORE PUSH” at least 37 times. I thought I was going to die. For real. Finally at 3:38 Turner McCartney arrived! With the cord around her neck, and a knot in her cord. WTH? I couldn’t see what they saw so I was freaking when I heard the nurse say she has a knot. The doc suctioned her and she started screaming! Apparently the knot had just happened that morning and didn’t cause any problems.

I LOVE this picture!!!

Now once TM was out I felt great. Until I realized I had experienced complete vag destruction – three cuts with the kitchen scissors - and I had to be sewn up. And for some crazy reason I started to feel the doc stitching me up. It was horrible! And the needle was, I swear, a fish hook. No lie. Looked just like one. I survived having my taint sewn back together and I got to finally hold my beautiful baby girl! Best moment ever!

 

I need to give props to LG who had to push out a nearly 10 lb baby Fenn! I cannot imagine!

 

Our first family photo!

So that concludes the birth story. I’m finally feeling like I can function normally again and I will try to blog more often! I would love to answer any questions or humor you in any way so please feel free to ask me anything you want to know!

Thanks for hanging in there with us! I can’t believe we survived!

TM’s Birth Story – Part 1

Thursday March 10, 2011:

This is my last pregnant picture. 39 weeks and 5 days!

Let me start by saying I had an amazing birth experience with very few complications. Being induced worked amazingly well for us but that’s not always the case. We were beyond blessed to have such an awesome experience with everything going better than planned – for the most part.

 

I woke up Thursday morning around 3:30. I couldn’t sleep. This is the day I will finally meet my baby! The day I will no longer be pregnant – thank God! We had to be at the hospital at 6:30 and there was so much I felt I needed to do. I showered and dried my hair and put on makeup – a luxury of being induced! I had plenty of time to make myself feel pretty. (I wish you could see me now! I do good to bathe every day!) We got everything ready, got the car packed and in true Denton fashion we pulled out of the driveway at 6:30. Let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be our birth story if we weren’t late.

Berty made it to the hospital in record time and we were checked in and ready to go by 6:45. Once in the room I got to pee in a cup because when you’re pregnant people are obsessed with your pee. You can’t go anywhere without giving someone a specimen! The cups at the hospital are larger than the shot glasses you pee in at the doc so I’m pretty sure I didn’t pee on myself. The nurse started my iv – which hurt like hell, strapped on the fetal and contraction monitors, and we waited for the doc to come break my water.

Dr. Smith came in at 7:30 to break my water and get the party started! I was 3cm at this point. Now, it took 40 forevers for him to break my water. Apparently I had a “tough” bag. This part wasn’t that bad just a lot of pressure and lots of things shoved all up in my business. The instrument used to break your water is a standard crochet hook – seriously. It took about 5 minutes for my bag to finally break and once it did the doc left and homegirl’s heart rate dropped from the 130’s to the 70’s and then – nothing. While JP and my nurse made nurse faces at each other and tried to pretend like everything was hunky dory, I freaked. They finally located her heart rate and I had to lay super still to make sure she was going to be okay.

Moving on from the dramatics….

This is after he broke my water and right when the Pitocin was started – obviously before the contractions became intense.

Last photo as a family of 2 – minus the fur children of course!

The early morning was pretty uneventful. Contractions started getting stronger soon after the Pitocin was started but they really weren’t that bad – at first. I knew I wanted an epidural and because I was 3cm when I got there, they told me I could have my epidural as soon as I wanted it. I was a little scared sh*tless of the epidural so I wanted to hold off as long as I could.

The doc came in and checked me again around 11 and I was 4 cm. They offered my some iv pain meds and I was afraid it would effect the baby so I declined – until I had an awesome contraction and I decided that TM probably wouldn’t mind being doped up to help her momma out!

 

Before Stadol:

After Stadol:

The pain meds took the edge off and I enjoyed socializing with all my visitors and trying to rest for the last time – ever. No really.

Aunt Courter, my mom, and Aunt Nini – my SIL

We had lots of friends and family come by throughout the day and I felt pretty good for the hour or so following the pain meds! I could feel the contractions getting stronger and I grew some balls finally asked for my epidural. The last 2 contractions that I felt were ridiculous. The worst pain I have ever felt. We need to take a moment to recognize those who labor without any meds, like none. You rock! There’s no way in hell I would have survived. I was in tears by the time the doc came in with the goods!

I was at 5cm when I got my epidural at around 1. Half-way there! And the epidural was not bad at all. The shot you get before they put the epidural in is really not that bad. The worst part is trying to be still through the contractions. It took maybe 5 minutes total for him to put it in. 15 minutes later I was feeling nothing and it was amazing!

This amazing feeling lasted about an hour and we partied it up in our room with lots of our favorite peeps!

Me and my daddy!

Check back for part 2 of the story – I need to try and sleep while TM is actually sleeping!