Friday, April 1, 2011

TM’s Birth Story – Part 2

Don’t cheat! Go read Part 1 because you know you wanna!

It is super important to mention that I got a spray tan the day before I gave birth. I cannot believe I forgot to share this info with y’all! Feel free to make fun but I was in desperate need of a tan and I didn’t want to scare TM with my pasty-ness.

Moving along….I got the epidural and all was unicorns and rainbows blah blah blah.

We need to revisit contractions. I had people tell me that contractions feel like period cramps. Ummm not sure what kind of hellacious period you have but my period cramps usually don’t feel like death. Get an epidural people. It will change your life!

So after the epi all my lovely friends and fam rejoined us. There were at least 79 people in the room and I felt great for a little while. All of a sudden I felt the worst pressure you can imagine. Shall we have graphic detail? Yes?! Of course. I felt like my a** was going to explode. Surely this is not normal…..I tried whispering to my nurse to let her know I needed to push or my butt was exploding. Since this was my first rodeo I wasn’t really sure which was correct.

She went in search of the doc while everyone socialized around me and I died a slow and painful death of anal pressure. A little before 2 the doc came in and checked me and it was go time! 10cm. Woo Hoo!!! (He then oh so conveniently left and I had to rely on my husband to keep me alive! – okay there was a nurse there too – and my mommas!)

I started pushing right around 2. Dude pushing out a kid is hard! Extremely hard. And you have to hold your breath and push for 30 seconds and it seems like 30 hours. Seriously. Apparently TM wasn’t in a hurry to make her appearance because it took 40 forevers or a little over an hour for her head to “crown.” Y’all it felt like I pushed for days before they could see her head. And I know this will be hard to believe but I didn’t say not ONE ugly word while I was pushing! Yay me!!!

The doc came down around 3 because they thought I was oh so close to delivering. Sike! I could not get homegirl’s head out. It was horrible. I think they told me “ONE MORE PUSH” at least 37 times. I thought I was going to die. For real. Finally at 3:38 Turner McCartney arrived! With the cord around her neck, and a knot in her cord. WTH? I couldn’t see what they saw so I was freaking when I heard the nurse say she has a knot. The doc suctioned her and she started screaming! Apparently the knot had just happened that morning and didn’t cause any problems.

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I LOVE this picture!!!

Now once TM was out I felt great. Until I realized I had experienced complete vag destruction – three cuts with the kitchen scissors - and I had to be sewn up. And for some crazy reason I started to feel the doc stitching me up. It was horrible! And the needle was, I swear, a fish hook. No lie. Looked just like one. I survived having my taint sewn back together and I got to finally hold my beautiful baby girl! Best moment ever!

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I need to give props to LG who had to push out a nearly 10 lb baby Fenn! I cannot imagine!

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Our first family photo!

So that concludes the birth story. I’m finally feeling like I can function normally again and I will try to blog more often! I would love to answer any questions or humor you in any way so please feel free to ask me anything you want to know!

Thanks for hanging in there with us! I can’t believe we survived!

20 comments:

Angie said...

That is a wonderful birth story and Turner is perfect <3 My sis just delivered and it wasn't as pleasant! Enjoy her! :)

Mrs. Werginz said...

YAY! I hate that you had to be sewn with a hook but so glad you are feeling better! She is really beautiful. I see the pics on fb too! :)

mary kathryn @ mathews family happenings said...

oh what a lovely story! And I nearly spewed water out of my mouth when you mentioned getting your taint sewn back up.....
I promise I'm coming soon to see beautiful TM in person, just don't want to have to bring my zoo of kiddos along...

Annie said...

i don't know if reading this makes me feel more or less nervous ;)
i love reading birth stories, obviously since i'm preggo myself and going to be going through this real soon.
i hope you are recovering well and all is going great with your little turner! she is adorable!!

Lindsay said...

I was JUST telling Adam the other day that it's his responsibility to make sure I had a spray tan before I go into labor! I mean, theres going to be all sorts of pictures being taken, I can't be all ghostly! Loved the birth story, makes me feel a little better that you said the epidural didn't hurt, that's my biggest fear so far...well until you mentioning the tearing...yikes!

Molly said...

Oh girl, I don't think I've laughed that hard in I don't even know how long! Your birth story is a freaking RIOT! Well not the story part I suppose, but the way you told it, LOVE it! Your taint? OH EM GEE! My 2nd daughter was 9lbs, shoot me please! I'm SO jealous of your 6 pounder, not fair!

Hope all is well with baby girl! Post some pics of her girl!

xoxo

Meagan said...

Best birth story ever!

A Bride In Boots said...

I truly laughed out loud and almost cried while reading this. Love your honesty, lady! Congrats on a job well done!

Jenny said...

YAY! But that hook part scares me!

Justin and Marcie said...

Congrats Brittay!! I'm sure you're glad that's all over. Put up some more pics of her!!!

Justin and Marcie said...

**Brittany** sorry :(

Leigh said...

Three things:

1) I love how you hold no details back! Like the needle being a fishing hook, haha
2) That you got a spray tan the day before you gave birth
3) Congratulations again on your beautiful little girl!

Jordan said...

I love your honesty.. I'll say the details do make me nervous, but you survived and have the your beautiful Turner to show for it! Congrats!

d.a.r. said...

Thank you so much for sharing with us!! She is so beautiful!!

Bink said...

I adore you. You are an amazing woman with an incredibly wonderful candid personality!! Love the birth story. ::big heart:: you and TM!

Brooke said...

Yay!!! So happy to finally have the birth story complete. It was such an amazing experience to share with y'all. However, you were holding some details back... Like the batidine wash :)

LG said...

You crack me UP girl!! and yeah... that after stitching was a nightmare I agree! How are you feeling now? I had all sorts of issues post birth trying to heal the poor vajayjay! You did a pretty good job describing that stitching up momenT! Now isnt it FABULOUS to not be pregnant anymore?

Elizabeth said...

I think I'm your newest follower I and I just have to say that you have an amazing birthday story - congrats!!

Shonna Taylor McFerrin said...

Oh Brittany, you are so funny!! I enjoyed every moment of your birth story! I love a woman with a voice, a great personality, and some balls! lol!

Susannah said...

I die! The pushing and stitching sound horrid! But isn't she presh!!! How are you? Are you going back to work? Hope you are well! xoxo