Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Surviving Labor–Induction Style

Tips and Tricks Tuesday

It’s possible I promise! I really wasn’t too fond of being preggers and I could not wait to meet my baby. I was terrified of labor until I was about 32 weeks pregnant. The closer I got to full term the more I didn’t care what I had to experience to just get the kid out of me! Once my induction was scheduled I was at peace with the fact that my vag may never be the same!

There are a few things you need to know about being induced. It was the best decision for me but that doesn’t mean it will be for everyone else. I was that pregnant girl who called the OB all the time and constantly complained about the pains of pregnancy. I’m pretty sure my doc was over me by the time Turner McCartney arrived.

- Spray tans are crucial. The day before induction everyone should get sprayed. I totally googled it and it’s safe for the baby as long as you aren’t a huffer and you don’t inhale ridiculous amounts of spray tan stuff. You need to look good for all the pics people will be taking.

- You definitely should shower before you go. You may never get to bathe again so take advantage of this time. Also do hair and makeup – I think it was a month before I wore makeup again!

- Be prepared for the water breakage. It was weird and uncomfortable. At this point in the game you should be used to being violated so that part won’t bother you at all.

- Pitocin is contraction magic. I swear I went from feeling nothing to the fetal position in about 5 minutes. It really works!

- Ummm I’m not sure how to tell you this but having a baby hurts. Be prepared. Contractions are insane and I have no clue how women have natural child birth.

- Epidurals are your friend. I was such a wuss and I promise it wasn’t bad at all. Just a little stinging and then it’s all good. I wish I would have gotten it sooner. There’s no need to suffer! Don’t be scared the epidural rocks!

- You need to be prepared for total vag destruction. I didn’t feel anything but pressure after my epidural but once the baby was out and it was time to attempt to repair the taint, it became quite unpleasant. And recovering from vag/taint destruction really sucks. I recommend sitting on a doughnut blow up thing at all times. And lots of hot baths – you know in all your free time.

- Just know your taint will never be the same. But it’s totally worth it!

I had the best labor and delivery experience and I feel truly lucky that everything went so smoothly. Try not to stress and make it a fun experience! Takes lots of pictures and make sure you get everything you want. Labor and delivery is all about mom – it’s totally ok to be a demanding bitch. You just grew a baby and carried it around for 40 weeks. :)

If you want to read the birth story check it out here and here.

Go link up your labor tips!


Jenny said...

This is some great advice I will be taking when I am pregnant! LOVE it!

Melissa said...

I'm due in a week and kind of scared about the vag destruction! Especially because the Dr. said my baby is going to be BIG! Well worth it though!

Lindsay said...

Hahaha I love it. I'm sitting in the waiting room right now at my OB and I'm contemplating on asking her how to avoid taint destruction now. It makes me happy to hear that the epidural isnt all that bad because I'm a total pansy and it's all I think about! And I've already told Adam that I don't care if Presley is 5 minutes from making her arrival, we will be stopping at Palm Beach Tan for a spray tan!

Tami said...

Love this! I agree that the destruction is totally worth it and I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

Hilary Lane said...

All that taint talk totally had me cringing! I'm going to be terrified to ever have sex again after all that reconstruction!

Meagan said...

You are so funny! I didn't need a doughnut and had a ton of stitches. Thanks for linking up!!!

Justin and Marcie said...

Not gonna lie, I'm so scared of child birth. Hopefully I'll be like you and will be willing to do anything just to get the baby out. You're making me nervous about the vag destruction though...never thought about it before :(

Susannah said...

You are effing hilarious, and I miss your blogging! I forgot you haven't had Internet in weeks! Update us with some TM pics pls!

LG said...

Sometimes i forget how funny you are, and then you blog again! ahhh! Hilar! and I am with you on vag reconstruction and healing. totally sucked!