Monday, February 11, 2013

What CRNA school has taught me…

There’s been a lot of learnin’ going on at the Denton household these past few months. While Bert’s been learning nerdy smarty-pants stuff, I’ve been learning hardcore life lessons. And let me tell y’all, it’s been rough. 

Let’s start with a cute little stereotype. Nerdy CRNA schools girls. While I see my husband approximately 10-12 hours a week, he spends a good 40 with his fellow classmates. Some of these classmates happen to be girls. This is what I expected the girls to look like…


And unfortunately for me, this is what they actually look like…

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So yeah. There’s that.

Then there’s the unfortunate case of the poors. Since Berty spends all his time with hot nerdy girls there’s barely any time for him to work. That just leaves me, and, well we all know how that goes. I’m probably the least motivated gal around so we’re stuck being poor. Yay for making sacrifices for the fam! And just FYI, it’s hard to be poor and live on a budget when you’re always hungry and you love to eat out hate to cook.

All this studying the hubs is doing gives me a lot of alone time with TM. And in case you were wondering, I’d never survive as a single mom. I’m way too dramatic! I have a pity party at least 4 times a week. I just can’t deal with the overly dramatic, unable to obey, toddler stage. It’s going to put me in an early grave.

This is what I have to deal with folks…

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And this is what we like to call hardcore discipline. Feel free to contact me for all you’re parenting advice. I’m what you would call a “pro.”

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In other news, I’m having my tubes tied this week. Okay, not really but let’s face the facts – I’ve considered it.

So grad school is really testing my marriage. And my patience. And my nerves. And we have 21 months left. Will we survive? Or more selfishly – will I survive?! I’m sure I will. I just need to put my big girl panties on and head to the kitchen. And drag my toddler, kicking and screaming, with me.

Friday, February 8, 2013

That One Time…

…my hubs and his BFF cut down a tree. In my front yard. In a neighborhood. In the city. Not out in the country, away from civilization and neighbors.

It took 6 hours. It was a small cedar tree. I had to postpone my date with MK to Sam’s and we missed out on all the free food vendors so I actually had to cook dinner. I was pissed.

I should have known it was going to be rough when they had to leave to go find a bigger chainsaw. Here’s the crew.


My hubs on the left. MK’s hubs on the right. With the chainsaw. Please take note of the “rope” they tied to the tree to keep control once it was cut down. As one facebooker commented, “It’s okay. That kite string should be able to control that tree.”

Y’all this was probably the most stressful thing I’ve dealt with since pushing a baby out of my hoo-hah. True story. By the time they had the right chainsaw it was dark and raining. I tried to video but unfortunately you can’t see anything. You can only hear my ridiculously southern voice pleading for them not to destroy the neighbors house.

Clay cut the tree and John Paul was the official tree puller downer. Yeah so you can imagine how that went down. Not at all actually. The tree slid right off the trunk and stood straight up in the driveway. Beats all I’ve ever seen. My concern was no longer destroying the neighbors house but our tree crashing through the power lines and knocking out the power of the entire street. I mean we’re already pushing it with our neighbors. How would I explain this one??

Never fear! The guys came up with a brilliant plan. As I stand at the door trying to explain to MK, over the phone, the exact happenings, I see our lovely spouses getting in their respective vehicles and driving off. Where are they going??! Wait! They’re back. What’s going on now you ask? Oh they’re just tying the rope (that’s attached to the tree) to the trailer hitch on Clay’s truck. Yes, that’s right. They’ll just pull the tree down with a vehicle. This seems like a fabulous idea.

I’m happy to say that the tree fell over in the driveway, clear of all houses and power lines. Clay’s truck survived and so did my marriage.

Do not try this at home. Trust me! Next time I need a tree cut down I’ll consult the yellow pages.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Alabama Snow

Y’all it snowed in Tuscaloosa! Like legit snow. Not just flurries! It was amazeballs!


It never snows here so when it happens the whole town shuts down. Thanks to this beautiful snow I got to leave work early and go home and play, and hubs got to head home in the blizzard!


TM loved the snow! Her primary focus was eating as much as she could. She has this slight addiction to eating ice and I think she thought this was just one big ice maker.


We thoroughly enjoyed playing in the snow for the hour that it lasted. I haven’t seen this much snow in years and Turner Mc was super sad when it all melted.


I’m glad we got to see snow and now I’m over winter. I’m ready for beach trips and fun in the ridiculously hot, humid sun! Bring it on!