That One Time…

…my hubs and his BFF cut down a tree. In my front yard. In a neighborhood. In the city. Not out in the country, away from civilization and neighbors.

It took 6 hours. It was a small cedar tree. I had to postpone my date with MK to Sam’s and we missed out on all the free food vendors so I actually had to cook dinner. I was pissed.

I should have known it was going to be rough when they had to leave to go find a bigger chainsaw. Here’s the crew.

My hubs on the left. MK’s hubs on the right. With the chainsaw. Please take note of the “rope” they tied to the tree to keep control once it was cut down. As one facebooker commented, “It’s okay. That kite string should be able to control that tree.”

Y’all this was probably the most stressful thing I’ve dealt with since pushing a baby out of my hoo-hah. True story. By the time they had the right chainsaw it was dark and raining. I tried to video but unfortunately you can’t see anything. You can only hear my ridiculously southern voice pleading for them not to destroy the neighbors house.

Clay cut the tree and John Paul was the official tree puller downer. Yeah so you can imagine how that went down. Not at all actually. The tree slid right off the trunk and stood straight up in the driveway. Beats all I’ve ever seen. My concern was no longer destroying the neighbors house but our tree crashing through the power lines and knocking out the power of the entire street. I mean we’re already pushing it with our neighbors. How would I explain this one??

Never fear! The guys came up with a brilliant plan. As I stand at the door trying to explain to MK, over the phone, the exact happenings, I see our lovely spouses getting in their respective vehicles and driving off. Where are they going??! Wait! They’re back. What’s going on now you ask? Oh they’re just tying the rope (that’s attached to the tree) to the trailer hitch on Clay’s truck. Yes, that’s right. They’ll just pull the tree down with a vehicle. This seems like a fabulous idea.

I’m happy to say that the tree fell over in the driveway, clear of all houses and power lines. Clay’s truck survived and so did my marriage.

Do not try this at home. Trust me! Next time I need a tree cut down I’ll consult the yellow pages.