Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Bumpdate!

Hi Friends!! Since I suck at life I never posted our Christmas card…….
vpy=0
So Merry Christmas from the Denton’s…super late as usual!
Moving on…..
29wk 29wks
How Far Along: 29 weeks
Total Weight Gained: So I may have gained 8 lbs in 4 weeks. I’m blaming it on the 12 pies I’ve consumed this past month. Total gained 11.5.
Maternity Clothes: My wardrobe consists of leggings and whatever tops I can find to cover my ass.
Sleep: Sleep is overrated.
Best Moment of the Week: 4d ultrasound yesterday!
Food Cravings: I ate at least 25 sugar cookies last week…… 
Food Aversions: Eggs.
Belly button/stretch marks: Still no stretch marks. Check out the bb on the pic above. I think it looks crazy!
Symptoms: Pregnancy. I’m over it. I have 11 weeks left and I’m sure it will get much worse. I won’t blame you if you leave me!
John Paul’s pregnancy symptoms:  I was kindly informed this week that pregnancy is not a disability. Is there any need to write anything else. I’m sure you can guess my thoughts on this one. 
Movement: All the time. Except during the ultrasound. She wouldn’t budge no matter what we did. Fabulous!
Gender: Girl – Turner McCartney
What I miss: Sleep.
Milestones: I’m ordering her furniture today. This is huge people. I just knew my child would have to sleep on a dog bed!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Bumpdate!

Sorry I suck so bad at blogging…I’ve been feeling quite lovely the past week. :)
IMAG0109
Please excuse my lovely attire.
How Far Along: 28 weeks
Total Weight Gained: Doctor’s visit on Monday…we shall see!
Maternity Clothes: Yes!! I can still wear some of my pre-preg tops but not many.
Sleep: I have been sleeping great but I feel so exhausted when I get up.
Best Moment of the Week: I have a hard time thinking of great moments. I seem to only recall the rough ones.
Food Cravings: Pie. Orange juice. Pickled okra. I could survive on this. 
Food Aversions: Eggs.
Belly button/stretch marks: Still no stretch marks. Part of the belly button has popped out. And the scar from my belly ring back in the day is looking kinda crazy.
Symptoms: Braxton hicks. Back, leg, body pain. Heartburn. Headaches.
John Paul’s pregnancy symptoms:  Impatience. I think this is due to the fact that I’m in constant need of sympathy and he’s fresh out. Laziness. I get tired of asking him to do things for me so I’m trying to take care of things myself. Boo!
Movement: I wish I could distinguish body parts. I think I can feel her head but Bert says I don’t need to push on my stomach because I might damage her brain!
Gender: Girl – Turner McCartney
What I miss: Being able to shave my legs comfortably. Unfortunately I can no longer do this and the legs are neglected. Whoops.
What I’m looking forward to: ultrasound on the 27th!
Milestones: 81 days left – for those of you not counting!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Bumpdate!!!

27wks
How Far Along: 27 weeks
Total Weight Gained: Still needing a scale for this one. Last doctor visit I was up 4lbs.
Maternity Clothes: An awesome friend gave me some maternity pants and I’m living in leggings.
Sleep: Sleep is so crazy lately. I either can’t fall asleep or I can’t stay asleep.
Best Moment of the Week: Super fun presents for TM from some awesome friends!
Food Cravings: I’m still loving pie. I ate an entire pecan pie this weekend. I also drank a gallon of orange juice Saturday.
Food Aversions: Eggs.
Belly button/stretch marks: No stretch marks. Belly button is crazy these days!
Symptoms: BH contractions. Back and leg pain. Heartburn – do you think this means my child will have hair??
John Paul’s pregnancy symptoms:  This is Berty 7-on week so I haven’t seen him a lot. We will stick with irritability due to lack of sleep and a wife who complains constantly. 
Movement: I feel her move a lot and sometimes it hurts. When I want her to move she doesn’t. And then I freak out and I get all dramatic. And then she barely moves. I’m crazy. I can’t help it!
Gender: Girl – Turner McCartney
What I miss: This week I’m going with a mimosa. I’m loving OJ right now and throw in a little champagne and I would be one happy girl! 
What I’m looking forward to: ultrasound on the 27th!
Weekly Wisdom:  My next door neighbor has triplet girls – 3 months old. Let’s all take a moment of silence for her because you know she needs it! At least I’m only carrying 1 baby!!
Milestones: I think I’m in my third trimester. At least some app on Bert’s phone says I am. So yay me!!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

So What Wednesday

sww



So What if….
  • I’m posting So What Wednesday on Thursday. I’m always behind.
  • I sneak salt on my food at work. Berty won’t mind.
  • I eat pie for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner…..
  • My mom tells people to read my blog when they ask how I’m doing. Maybe she doesn’t want to tell them I’m a bitch little stressed.
  • I refuse to buy anything unless it’s on sale. Or I have a coupon. What can I say? I’m cheap!
  • We decided (with our fams) that we weren’t doing gifts this year. So we bought some crap gifts for ourselves and are secretly buying gifts for each other….not so secret anymore I guess……
Go link up with Mama Dew and play along!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Lennon Remembered

imagine2
30 years ago today John Lennon was shot and killed outside his Dakota Building apartment by an obsessed fan, Mark David Chapman. He was only 40.
Go find a Lennon song, listen to it, and come back and tell me how awesome he was. Berty would be very happy!! I’ll spare you the naked Rolling Stone cover today and go with the classic Time cover.
time
He was an amazing man and a fabulous artist. I know he is missed by many.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Bumpdate

Thank you so so so much for all your sweet comments on the name. It was nice to hear what you all think. I made John Paul read every comment so he could see how awesome my bloggy friends are! Y’all made my day!
xmastree
I haven’t done a belly pic yet. Shocking, I know! And I’m pretty sure that the side-face-fat-roll is here to stay people. If she’s still here after birth I’m taking donations for plastic surgery.
How Far Along: 26 weeks
Total Weight Gained: I’m pretty sure I’ve put on a few pounds this month. I should invest in a scale…..
Maternity Clothes: I seriously need to stop wearing pre-preggo jeans. I look a hot mess. The belly band isn’t really helping anymore.
Sleep: Who needs sleep? I need to be prepared to get up all night anyway right?
Best Moment of the Week: Getting to see how huge I looked in a few Christmas card pictures. 
Food Cravings: Pie! This is the best craving yet. Any kind of pie. I don’t care. Well maybe except Mincemeat pie. – what’s mincemeat anyway?
Food Aversions: Eggs.
Belly button/stretch marks: So I forgot about the belly button picture and I can’t take one with my phone but I will share this week. Maybe the butterfly/bird tattoo as well. It’ll be great fun! 
Symptoms: Braxton Hicks and this ridonkulous back pain that I’m assuming is something similar to sciatica? Maybe? Or death. I can’t decide but it’s making it painful to walk. I might need a motorized scooter.
John Paul’s pregnancy symptoms:  Other than the 3 or so times I almost killed him this week, Berty has  been pretty good.
Movement: All the time. Except when I have a slight moment of paranoia and think I haven’t felt her move. Then she doesn’t move for like hours – or minutes. I’m not really sure.
Gender: Girl – Turner McCartney
What I miss: Is this category even necessary anymore. We all know I want wine. And the fact that Bert has had a glass every. single. night. doesn’t help.
What I’m looking forward to: Our next ultrasound on the 27th.
Weekly Wisdom:  You’re gonna snap. It’s bound to happen. Maybe not as frequently for you, but at our house a hormonal outburst is quite common. Don’t feel bad if you yell at your hubs/boyfriend/sperm donor, they have no clue what’s going on with your body. If you have to speak slightly louder to help them understand then so be it.  
Milestones: I’m pretty sure the baby can hear now. I should probably stop yelling. Can someone call my Hubs and invite him over for 3 months or so?

Monday, December 6, 2010

She has a name!!!

Baby D finally has a name! It took us a while to find a name we both agreed on and after sharing the name with our family – and some mixed reactions – I’m ready to share her name with all my bloggy friends!
TM Painting
A friend of Bert’s from work painted this for us. Thanks Shonna!!
I can’t wait to hear what you think! We’ve had mixed responses from friends and family and I would love to hear your HONEST opinions.
A little background on the name:
Turner – my maiden name. I really wanted to use a family name and I think Turner is a fabulous name – boy or girl.
McCartney – after Paul. John Paul is named after the John Lennon and Paul McCartney and keeping with the Beatles tradition we decided to use McCartney. I’ve always loved this name and I have a friend who’s daughter is named McCartney (I asked before I stole her name!!).
So there you have it. Turner McCartney Denton – 3 last names :)
Happy Monday!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

We’re on a Diet! Yay……

As most of you know, John Paul has a slight kidney stone issue. The doctor has now put him on a “kidney stone diet” and limited his sodium, calcium, oxalate, anything with taste, intake. And he’s also on a diuretic. Like old people take. :)

This new diet is pure hell! Have you tried to cook with low sodium or salt free foods before? No? Well, it’s just flippin’ awesome! Honestly I didn’t realize how much sodium was in everything we eat! Now we eat boiled water for supper – hold the salt!

Toon500

I’m trying to be a lovely wife and conform to this new diet, but let’s be honest, Berty is going to be hardcore. I’m surprised he hasn’t bought a little book to keep up with how much sodium, calcium, oxalate, etc. he has consumed for the day. He even printed a handy little packet for me that details the sodium content of everything edible in the entire universe. Sweet, huh?

I’m all about lowering the sodium and preventing future penile stents but I cooked dinner the other night and had a slight breakdown. I may or may not have taken crescent rolls out of the oven , umm mid-bake, and maybe thrown them. I can’t recall the specifics. Bert realized they have 230mg of sodium per roll and refused to eat them. Not my best moment. :)

Needless to say, it’s been a hard adjustment but I’m really trying. Meltdowns may happen but let’s just blame that on the pregnancy. K thanks.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Bumpdate!

I post these so randomly that I forget how many weeks pregnant I am. It’s quite unfortunate really.

25wkbw 25wkscrop

I made the first picture black and white because I feel it makes me look less scary. You’re welcome.

I’m removing a few categories this week because honestly I don’t need to give pregnancy advice.

How Far Along: 25 weeks

Total Weight Gained: 4 lbs gained.

Maternity Clothes: Yes please. I really need to stop trying to wear pre-pregnancy pants. It always results in a big fat fail!

Food Cravings: Berries.

Food Aversions: Eggs.

Belly button/stretch marks: I so forgot to take a picture of my nasty belly button! And the hubs told me that my super skank butterfly tat was now a bird. He’s so sweet. :)

Symptoms: Still having a few Braxton Hicks contractions every day. Starting to have some heart burn. And this hardening of my stomach really freaks me out! But I haven’t called the doctor. Yet.

John Paul’s pregnancy symptoms: Laziness. It seems harder to get the Hubs motivated to do things this week. And we’re always keeping track of who did what so we can make each other do things – does that make sense?

Movement: All the time.

Gender: Girl.

What I miss: No need for this. Everyone knows I want wine.

What I'm looking forward to: My 4D ultrasound next month.

 

I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving. I was definitely too busy stuffing my face and sleeping to blog!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Bumpdate!

24wks

I cropped my side-face-fat-roll out. You’re welcome!

How Far Along: 24 weeks

Total Weight Gained: Lost a pound trucking it through the Opryland. 4 lbs gained.

Maternity Clothes: Who’s sending me their maternity jeans so I don’t have to buy any?! You’re all going to be tired of seeing me in those black leggings. Oh and my jeggings! – don’t hate!

Sleep: I can’t get enough. It seems like it’s been harder to fall asleep lately.

Best Moment of the Week: Let’s remove this category for this week. K thanks!

Food Cravings: Orange juice and Pickled okra….still.      

Food Aversions: Eggs.

Belly button/stretch marks: Belly button is kinda funk nasty. I’m not gonna lie. The flatter it gets the nastier it looks. Visualize with me please! I will post a pic next week!

Symptoms: I’ve had a few Braxton Hicks contractions this week. Just add that to the usual complaints.

John Paul’s pregnancy symptoms – Bert has been quite the doting husband this week and very concerned about all the walking we were doing. He gets 2 thumbs up this week!

Movement: All the time.

Gender: Girl.

What I miss: Comfortable sleep positions. Wine. The usual.

What I'm looking forward to: Sharing the name with everyone! I haven’t told our families the name yet but I can’t wait to announce it on the blog!

Weekly Wisdom:  Sleep when you can!

Milestones: Another week down!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Vacay continued

Vacay part 1

…..We made it in time to see the last half of the show. And from what I saw I would recommend it. If your brave enough to drive in Nashville. :)

We took a shuttle back to the Opryland and went in search of food. Along with the 2 million other people there. We kept seeing all these happy pregnant women and honestly all it did was piss me off. I was miserable. We walked at least 749 miles inside the damn hotel and I was about to die. John Paul liked to point out all the women who were obviously farther along than me. He may or may not have gotten slapped.

We finally got some pizza and I told the fam I was eating in the room. My nerves were shot and my mood was just lovely. I’m sure they missed our company! We ate went to bed and were out of there by 9:30.

Next stop visiting the in-laws who live apparently on the longest road in Nashville. We were lost on Old Hickory (for you Nashville peeps) for at least an hour. Who knew the road was like 200 miles long? And to help matters, the only thing Bert’s mom knows she lives by is Sonic. That helps! Once we found their apartment we visited for a bit and decided to head home. The only pictures I have are right before we left his parents house. So sad. I was too pissed and miserable to stop and take pictures at the hotel – I wasn’t about to pose in any either.

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Sorry I look like a loser. It was apparently bright outside. :)

That about sums up our trip. I was Scrooge and complained the whole time. Bert complained too so we were a lovely pair. Other than seeing the show and the short time we saw our families, it was a hot mess. I’m glad to be home!

Stay tuned for the Bumpdate/Doctor Visit post tomorrow! I will try to tone down Bad Mood Betty!

Monday, November 22, 2010

The 1-Day Vacay….

…from hell. :)

Don’t you love my cheery posts!

Saturday we headed to Nashvegas for the night to go see the Rockettes with my step-mom’s family. Now before we proceed you must know that road trips with Bert are ridiculously stressful. In my personal opinion, John Paul cannot drive. He’s very distracted and swerves all the flippin’ time. I obviously feel I am the better driver but I hate to drive so he drove.

We had our trusty GPS to lead us to the right place. Everything was fine until we hit Tennessee. Ummm Nashville peeps, I have no idea how you drive on these interstates. Every few miles you had to choose a direction to go – the interstates just kept splitting into other interstates and ramps and loops and mass chaos! We live in Tuscaloosa (AL) and you get on the interstate and you go North or South – those are the only choices! Needless to say I was completely stressed.

Once we made it to the general vicinity of the Opryland and Grand Ole Opry it was a complete disaster. There were at least 12 million people there and I cannot express to you how close we were to divorcing. I’m telling you we should not travel together. We paid $18 to park and decided to just truck it to the hotel because we are cheap and didn’t want to have to tip the valet – how pitiful!

We finally make it inside and as luck would have it – we can’t check in. Reservation is in my daddy’s name. Awesome. We have to drag our luggage around and wait for him to arrive. Needless to say, I was not happy and called daddy to see if he could call them and tell them to let us check in! It worked. We got our room keys and directions to our room and headed on our merry way. Now, who’s been in this Opryland hotel?! Umm….crazy big. Like 20 hotels in 1 or something. Restaurants and stores everywhere and good luck finding your way!

We get to our room, insert the key, and someone else opens the door! They had given the same room to someone else in our party. I was about ready to cry – 4 hours in the car + extreme stress from Bert’s driving + a ridiculously pissed off pregnant lady = disaster. Bert had to find his way back to the MAIN lobby and get our rooms straightened out. At 4:45 we finally got a room – the show we were seeing started at 5. Awesome!

I will post the conclusion tonight. I took 3 pictures that I want to share and this is getting excessive!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Christmas Card Time!!

Who wants to come take a family picture of us?! I am really behind this year and not looking forward to trying to look cute in a picture. And I love to include the pups, but they are so hard to photograph!

I love the idea of photo cards for Christmas and I get so excited when I get one in the mail! We’ve used Shutterfly in the past for photo cards, wall calendars, and photo books!

Hubs gave me a photo calendar for Christmas last year with pictures of all my cute kids on it! I love it! The photo books are fabulous gifts and if my family members loved my dogs as much as I do, I would give them photo books of all their achievements! :)

I also love the idea of using Shutterfly for party invitations! What a fab idea.

Let’s look at some cards I’m loving!

STATIONERYCARD_5x5-31046-2289-MERCHLARGE_FRONT-v1281031301000131181

STATIONERYCARD_5x5-31046-2933-MERCHLARGE_FRONT-v1288741725000130767

STATIONERYCARD_5x7-23046-2655-MERCHLARGE_FRONT-v128103976900098775

STATIONERYCARD_5x7-23046-2778-MERCHLARGE_FRONT-v1281038892000108249

Now I just need to choose a card and take a super hot picture, or I’ll just steal a picture of someone else and put on my card!

Yay for Christmas!

Go to Shutterfly and sign up to receive 50 free holiday cards for bloggers!

Blog Award

Vanessa over at Matt and Vanessa gave me this fab award! Thanks friend!!

AwardStylish-Blogger
Rule 1. Thank and link back to who gave you the award.

Rule 2. Share 7 things about yourself: (Are you sure we want to have share time over here?)

1. I’m an only child. Spoiled by my daddy and I now live across the street from him. It doesn’t get any better than that! I’m the reason the Hubs wants to have another child – I vote no!

2. I cherish ALL of my bloggy friends and wish we could be friends in real life!

3. Just in case you’re new to my blog, I need to share that I despise pregnancy. Just want to be honest. :)

4. I am absolutely terrified of having this baby….in March. I’m already scared of labor and the fact that I have to take her home with me. Alone. (well with the hubs of course)

5. I would rather have a mouse in my house than see a roach. Seriously. Scariest bug ever.

6. I’m still looking for ONE piece of paper that I MUST have to get my diamond replaced in my engagement ring. Where the hell is it?!?

7. I not-so-secretly worry that my dogs won’t get enough attention when the baby gets here and that REALLY stresses me out. They are our children too and will need equal love and attention – remind me of this when I go batsh*t crazy after the baby gets home.

Rule 3. Pass it along to 5 bloggy friends.

Jessica – …And Baby Makes 3

Jenny – Strictly Strickland’s

MK – the Mathews Family Happenings

Lisa – Diary of a Newlywed

Crystal – Housewife Dreams

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Bumpdate

23wks-1 23wks-2

How Far Along: 23 weeks

Total Weight Gained: 5 lbs

Maternity Clothes: Still rocking my belly band but I could use some maternity jeans. – I would rather spend money on baby girl though!

Sleep: I slept good this week, but I always wake up at 5!

Best Moment of the Week: I think we finally decided on a name!  

Food Cravings: Raspberries     

Food Aversions: Eggs.

Belly button/stretch marks: The belly button is getting more shallow by the day. Still no stretch marks.

Symptoms: Ligament pain. Back pain. Incessant bitching complaining. Acne. Bleeding gums. You know all the fun stuff.

John Paul’s pregnancy symptoms – I know this is selfish but it really pisses me off when I complain about being pregnant and Bert says “You wanted to have a baby!” – umm…yes I did. However, now I want to complain about it. Give me some sympathy.

Movement: All the time.

Gender: Girl.

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach. Alcohol. I could really use a nice glass of wine to take the edge off!

What I'm looking forward to: Sharing the name with everyone!

Weekly Wisdom: Relax when you can. I obsess about keeping the house clean and then realize that I really don’t care and I take a nap! It’s so worth it!!

Milestones: 17 weeks left – hopefully less – but I don’t want to jinx myself! 

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Bumpdate

22wks

How Far Along: 22 weeks

Total Weight Gained: I gained 2 more pounds in 2 weeks so my total is 5 lbs.

Maternity Clothes: Yes please.

Sleep: Sleep sucks these days. I never sleep through the night.

Best Moment of the Week: John Paul finally felt the baby move this week!

Food Cravings: Orange juice. Pickles.    

Food Aversions: Eggs.

Belly button/stretch marks: Belly button still looks like a crater. Still no stretch marks.

Symptoms: “ligament pain.” Irritability – probably due to lack of sleep.

John Paul’s pregnancy symptoms – hubs did pretty good dealing with me this week. I won’t write anything ugly about him – this time. :)

Movement: All the time.

Gender: Girl.

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach.

What I'm looking forward to: Still looking forward to deciding on a name.

Weekly Wisdom: No wisdom. Other than it hurts to have a baby. Just make a note of that.

Milestones: One more week down!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Impromptu Doctor’s Visit

I spent the morning at the OB’s office, basically because I freak over everything and apparently my doctor wants to make me feel like less of an idiot.

I had the ridiculous pain again. But this time Bert was home. He experienced the pain with me. I will admit that I was slightly pissed that he was sleeping and I was dying. He tried to help by rubbing my side but honestly nothing seemed to help.

I got up and walked. Tried to stretch. Changed position. Applied heat. Nothing made the pain go away. I was laying in bed in tears. When it was finally time to get up, Bert said I should call the doc.

I left a message for my doctor but he was out for the day. The nurse called and said it was likely just ligament pain or something of that nature, but the on call doc wanted an ultrasound of my gallbladder.

I went in this morning and saw my doctor. The ultrasound was fine and he said it could just be from my ribs moving. Who knows. I think he was hoping I knew having a baby would be painful.

Honestly the pain is still there. Not nearly as bad but lingering. Any tips on how to relieve this “ligament pain?”

 

*I will post my bumpdate tonight. Left my camera at home yesterday and today!

Monday, November 8, 2010

I am now an unwed mother…

It’s quite unfortunate really. I wish the reason was because my fingers were all fat and swollen. But it’s not. And before y’all congratulate Bert for having the manhood to leave me (considering I’m quite the miserable b*tch), just know that he’s hanging in there!!

Last Sunday I looked to down to notice a huge hole in my engagement ring. You know the little spot where the diamond goes. GONE. No diamond. Just a gaping hole. I freaked. I looked everywhere. I even stuck my hand in the garbage disposal – please note this is the first (and last) time I have done this. I could not find it anywhere.

I knew I had to tell the hubs and quite frankly it made me nauseous. I woke him up early for work and broke the news. Apparently he had some awesome dreams because he wasn’t even mad! We have insurance on the ring and since it’s not exactly my fault that the diamond fell out, the jewelry store is replacing the diamond at no cost to us.

Thank you sweet baby Jesus!!! Now the only problem is waiting on them to do this. They are not in any hurry. I assure you! I mean do they know how long I had to bitch wait to get that ring? And my band is sautered (is this a word?) to the engagement ring so no ring for me.

I had every intention of taking a picture for the blog but I forgot and the jewelry store has my ring. I know I suck at the whole picture thing. :)

 

In other news, booo for Alabama losing to The Mad Hatter. I was beyond pissed. It was a sad day at the Denton household after that loss.

 

Hope y’all have a great week!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Attention All Bloggy Friends!

I stole this post from Leigh. :)

This is great info. When you comment on a post I’m bad to try and reply to it from my phone. If you don’t have your Blogger account set to show your email address then I can’t email you back. And it makes me really sad because I like to stalk my bloggy friends.

Check out this super easy tutorial. Post it on your blog too! I honestly could not figure out how to get my email address to show. It’s really easy!!

Thanks friends!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Night in which I Almost Died…or something…

So I’m sleeping peacefully and dreaming wonderful dreams of unicorns and rainbows and such when all of a sudden I am awoken by what can only be described as holy-sh*tballs-I’m-dying-or-this-baby’s-coming-out-of-my-side.

My left side hurt so unbelievably bad that for a few moments I contemplated calling 911. (I’ve never claimed that I wasn’t dramatic.) Once I thought it through I decided to call the hubs and see what he thought. Assuming he would come home and save me, as death was imminent.

Let’s note that this was sometime between 1:30 and 2:00 this morning.

Hubs answers the phone as if this is a normal occurrence – I’m never awake past 10 – Hello??

Me: ohmygawd I’m dying.

Hubs: What’s wrong?

Me: For the love of all things holy my side hurts.

Hubs: You should probably take some Tylen0l.

Me: I think I’m going to throw up and/or die.

Hubs: Take something for nausea too. It’s probably just Ligament Pain.

*end conversation*

I drug myself from the fetal position of death and took some flippin’ pills.

After I regained my composure and resumed a normal heart rate, I sent a text to my loving husband…..

Me: “If that’s ligament pain then God help us when this baby has to come out.”

Hubs: “You’ll have an epidural.”

Me: “That scared me. No lie. Thought I was dying.”

Hubs: “I’m sorry. I’m sure it’s ligament pain.”

Me: “I was dead asleep and woke up sure of a sudden death from left side organ rupture.”

Hubs: “Brittany……”

*the end*

Please take note that it is very difficult to function as a pregnant hypochondriac.

Next time I’m calling 911….at least maybe they’ll pretend that my “left side organ” did indeed rupture.

Happy Birthday Baby Daddy!

and….Happy Anniversary to my Daddy and Trisha!

Bert is the big 2-7 today!! Woo Hoo!!! Let’s look at some pictures of the hotness that is my husband !

Yes my parents paid an ungodly amount of money for our amazing photographer. This is how my husband acts.

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*pic courtesy of Scottie Jones Photography

 

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*pic courtesy of IzzieRae Photography

engagement

*pic courtesy of Scottie Jones Photography

 

Happy Anniversary to Daddy and Trisha!!

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*pic courtesy of Scottie Jones Photography

Love them!!!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Bumpdate – 21 weeks

21weeks 21wks

How Far Along: 21 weeks

Total Weight Gained: 3lbs.

Maternity Clothes: Most definitely. I really need to invest in some cute maternity jeans. 

Sleep: Sleep has been fabulous this week! 

Best Moment of the Week: Feeling the baby move like crazy.

Food Cravings: Arby’s inside-out cinnamon bites – they are to DIE for. Seriously. Go get some.   

Food Aversions: Eggs.

Belly button/stretch marks: My belly button is way huge. It’s disgusting. Like a crater or something. No stretch marks. Yet.

Symptoms: Impatience. Not so sure this is new though. And apparently being pregnant makes you bleed randomly – like from your gums and nose. It’s really nasty.

I’m also going to include my husband’s pregnancy symptoms – bitching, complaining, complete rudeness, and the inability to realize that I’m always right. He also has good moments. :)

Movement: Mostly in the mornings and a lot at bedtime.

Gender: Girl. And y’all I’m so excited! I’m working on scanning in the ultrasound pics for a full post on that experience.

What I miss: More alcoholic tendencies – but this week I’m missing margaritas. No clue why – maybe because we’re heading out for Mexican after work. 

What I'm looking forward to: Naming our baby girl. More on that later. 

Weekly Wisdom: If you want something done you might as well do it yourself. Especially if your husband works nights. And you really don’t ever get your way.

Milestones: I’m over the hump. It still seems like FOREVER until March but at least I’m closer than last week!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Bumpdate & Gender Reveal!!

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Don’t make fun of the jeggings!! Or the fact that my face is cut off – that was on purpose!

How Far Along: 20 weeks

Total Weight Gained: 3lbs. Hubs is on my ass now about gaining weight. The doc said the baby was measuring fine but I need to try to put on more weight for my next appointment.

Maternity Clothes: Yes please.

Sleep: Pretty good this week.

Best Moment of the Week: Finding out the gender today!! 

Food Cravings: Orange juice.  

Food Aversions: Eggs.

Symptoms: The only new symptom is yelling. This goes along with lack of patience.

Movement: I feel the baby move a lot. I think.  

Gender: For those of you who agreed with me and the DMV guy………

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Sorry we were wrong! Yay for those who voted girl!!

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach.

What I'm looking forward to: Buying pink stuff! And arguing with my husband over names.

Weekly Wisdom: Check back later…I’m fresh outta wisdom!

Milestones: Halfway there!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

birthday

It’s my birthday!! Yay me!!

I happen to share a birthday with 2 fabulous bloggy friends!

Go show some love to Leigh and Crystal!!

Happy Birthday girls!! If I happen to share my birthday with any other fabulous people let me know!! 

Monday, October 25, 2010

Weekend Recap

So basically I suck at the whole blog challenge. Obviously I never post when I’m supposed to. I’m a big fat failure. However, I do plan to post some of the days I’ve missed. Which is like 10. But whatev.

Let’s see….what did I do this weekend other than complain? I yelled. A lot. This is going down as a new pregnancy symptom. Seriously I have no patience and I’m quite the unfriendly wifey.

We planted some knockout roses in our front flower bed on Saturday. I don’t have a pic but we survived the joint task. And they plants are still alive. I’m marking this down as an accomplishment!

We watched the Alabama Tennessee game. Sorry to all my Vol friends but I’m so glad we won.

rolltide 

We unfortunately watched Auburn kick some major ass. Let me just go on record for all my Auburn bloggy friends. I’m kinda worried. There I said it. Auburn is looking pretty good. Alabama’s looking a little rough.  :/

Did I mention how much it bothers me that Auburn’s #1? Just wanted to throw that out there.

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So excited for tomorrow!! I can’t wait to find out if Baby D has a penis. Just want to mention that I’m pretty sure they’re going to say we’re having a boy. Can’t wait to know for sure! Vote at the top of the page and leave a comment letting me know what you think! I will be sure to update as soon as I get to work. My appointment is at 8:30.

If you follow me on Twitter I might not be able to save the surprise for the blog!

Hope y’all have a great week!

Also, if you’re preggo and thinking of cloth diapering check out LG’s post for some great info!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Day 6 and Day 7

Yeah I know I suck at this. I’m still using the “pregnant and pissed” excuse! :)

Day 6 – A pic of something that makes you happy

These pictures of my furchildren make me happy! I just love them. And they are super excited to have a baby brother or sister. (we hope)

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pups

Also this is one of my favorite wedding pictures – probably because it’s of my 2 favorite men – the Bert and my daddy!

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I think this might have been before the wedding – god only knows what they were discussing! :)

Day 7 – Favorite Movies

I’m a movie junkie but I’m only going to list the movies that I will watch every. single. time. they are on TV!

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I LOVE Drop Dead Fred. Like obsessively love it. Bert thinks it’s stupid but whatev. If you like this movie we are automatically bff!

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I’m also obsessed with Gone with the Wind. Best movie ever in my opinion.

Can’t forget the classic Julia Roberts movies….

Steel Magnolias and Pretty Woman. I could watch these movies any time.

Happy Friday!!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Bumpdate!

I was 19 weeks on Saturday. One more week and I’ll be half way there!

wk19-1

I switched sides to see if I looked less awkward. As you can see, I still look ridiculous! I’m gonna start posing with a cat or dog. Or something!

How Far Along: 19 weeks

Total Weight Gained: Let’s just recap. I don’t weigh at home. Mainly because Bert really wants me to gain 200 lbs and I don’t feel like arguing with him over the accuracy of our scale. According to the doctor’s office I’ve gained 2 lbs total. (as of last month)

Maternity Clothes: Some stuff I can still wear. But maternity clothes are much more comfortable. 

Sleep: I feel like I never get enough sleep!

Best Moment of the Week: Were there any good moments? Not sure.

Food Cravings: Salads. Poppy seed dressing. Caramel apples. But only because I saw them on Lisa’s blog! 

Food Aversions: Eggs.

Symptoms: I’m pretty sure this baby is trying to kill me. Well maybe I shouldn’t be that dramatic but I’m pretty sure Baby D is growing inside my vagina. You’re welcome! – I find myself saying “ow” and holding myself a lot. It’s quite unpleasant.

I’m also very clumsy. I drop everything I pick up. Hopefully this is gone when the baby gets here. So basically don’t let me hold your kid. :)

Movement: I’m pretty sure I felt the baby move. Even though Bert says I didn’t. But what the hell does he know? 

Gender: One week and we’ll know for sure. I’m curious to see if Random guy at the DMV was right! Cast your votes for boy/girl so we can see what everyone thinks!

What I miss: I’m still stuck on wine. I can’t help it. Just call me a wino. I’m pretty sure after I have the baby I’m not gonna want wine anymore. I’ll be pissed.

What I'm looking forward to: Gender ultrasound in 7 days!

Weekly Wisdom: People tell you that your pregnancy flies by. Tell those people to call me. Or better yet, just ask me. This is taking for flipping ever. – Does that count as wisdom??

Milestones: Just to warn you….this is TMI. Like excessive TMI. So if you still want to be my friend please don’t read this part. k thanks.

It’s a milestone if I can go to the bathroom! Like break out the champagne kinda milestone.

I told you not to read that part! Will you still be my friend?!?

 

 

Day 4 & Day 5

Way behind. So what?!? I’m pregnant and pissed off. What else is new??

Day 4: The Parentals

I personally think my parents are fabulous. My parents have been divorced for over 20 years and both are remarried. They all get along great and we’re one big happy family.

Meet Wen…..

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The best mom ever. Okay, maybe I stayed pissed at her in high school but now we are best friends. Honestly. She’s more like my twin than my mom. We’re so much alike.

Paul….

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Paul is my stepdad. We’ve had our moments but for the most part we’re pretty close. He’s helping us a lot with our new house. He and my mom have been married about 13 years.

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This is my daddy Richard, and my stepmom Trisha. They are fab and just happen to live across the street. They feed us a lot. :)

Here’s another picture of Ricker. I’m a super obsessed daddy’s girl. It’s insane really.

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There you have it. Those are my fabulously amazing parents!

 

Day 5: Siblings

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So really I have no siblings. It’s just me. And I’ve never had a problem with that. I adore being an only child. When I was 16 I told my mom she should have a baby and she laughed in my face. But anyway, the picture is me and the bestie Courtney. She’s the closest thing to a sister since we’ve been friends for over 20 years. We grew up at each other’s houses so we’ll count her as a “sibling.”

I have other friends that our child will call “aunt” even though I am an only child.

More pics 007

This is Melody, Bert’s sister. She counts too!

Maybe I’ll get some sister wives to help me raise my kid! Oh and take care of the hubs.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Count me In!

I’m hopping on board with the whole 30-day blog challenge. Mainly because all the cool people are doing it (and you should too). I also really need to quit bitching complaining so much. :)

So now that I’ve decided today to start I’m behind. Shocking I know.

Day 1: Introduce, Recent Picture, 15 Interesting Facts

Newlywed. Recently knocked up (by my husband – just to clarify). Slightly obsessive animal lover. Southern girl. Alabama football lover. Hypochondriac. That should do for now.

recent 

I totally cheated on a recent picture. This is from the bestie’s wedding. I’m the brunette in case you couldn’t tell! I hate all my preggo pictures and just in case someone new stops by, I don’t want to scare them away with a scary lary picture of myself in an awkward pose.

I’m sure if you really want to know 15 things about me. I might scare some people off.

1. My dogs, Dayne and Maggie, are really our first born children. I cry if I have to spend the night away from them.

2. The most stressful thing about my pregnancy so far is naming this baby. I swear I’m gonna let someone else pick the name.

3. Nothing pisses me off more than people who don’t consider their dogs or cats to be part of the family. Why get a pet if you can’t properly take care of it?

4. I would rather stay in, cook dinner, and watch a movie than go out. Any night of the week.

5. I’m afraid I will die every time I take a shower and I’m home alone. 

6. I hate traffic and red lights make me never want to leave home. I’m weird.

7. I never finished college. I’m a big fat giver upper! Maybe I will go back and finish one day.

8. I have only ever wanted one child. If this baby is a boy. We are done. (if it’s up to me)

9. I have a really hard time dealing with close-minded people. I always try to be open-minded about things I disagree with.

10. I have this insane obsession with cloth diapering. All my friends IRL think I won’t be able to deal with the hassle. I’m definitely going to try it. I think.

11. I have a very bad temper and excessive road rage. Sorry.

12. I can’t fall asleep if I can see a drawer that isn’t shut all the way.

13. I’ve never fallen asleep without my TV on. I know. I’m killing the planet. But we recycle!

14. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher but I absolutely hate school. So I guess I’m settling. Shhh….don’t tell Bert.

15. I oddly refer to my husband, John Paul, as Bert or Berty. It’s something I came up with one day. I rarely call him by his given name. Or any of my pets by their name. I don’t know. I’m weird.

 

Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name.

There’s not really anything special behind the blog name. Just something I came up with when I decided to start blogging.

 

Day 3: Your First Love

Now this is a good one. Am I supposed to pretend that the hubs was my very first one and only love? Cause I’m pretty sure I wasn’t his “first love” either. I guess it would have to be a guy I dated in high school or the guy I dated before I met John Paul. Not dragging out pictures of that.

But, I’m happy to say that the one I married is definitely “the one.” He’s amazing, deals with my insanity, and lets me have 4 pets! He rocks!

sjphoto 

*picture courtesy Scottie Jones Photography

I had to steal an old engagement picture off FB because I have no current pictures on my work computer. It’s unfortunate.

I think I’ll catch up on the rest tomorrow. This post is excessive already. Happy Friday! Have a great weekend and Roll Tide!!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Updates!!

First off thanks so much for the prayers and tweets on Monday. They made me feel so much better! I just love all my bloggy friends! :)

Bert’s surgery was successful, for the most part. I was not allowed to take pictures and I quote, “Do NOT take any pictures of me after surgery and post them on your blog!” Oops.

They removed the penis stent! Woo Hoo! And got most of the stones. There was 1 they missed but decided not to go back in so hopefully he will pass it on his own. We did get a picture of the stones. Sorry for the bad quality. (I did NOT take my camera to the hospital.) stones

Bert is feeling much better just really sore. They did not suture the incision so he just basically has this big hole in his back that we have to keep dressed. It’s quite nasty. Hopefully there will be no future posts about penis stents! {fingers are crossed}

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I am way past the Bumpdate so I will just hit the high spots. Sorry there's no picture this week.

I’m 18 weeks. I think I felt the baby move last night, even though JP says I didn’t. I mean how does he know?! I don’t weigh at home so I will stick with 2 lbs gained. Still craving the pickled okra – and my grocery store has been out since Friday. This is unacceptable.

I feel like I got really big all of a sudden this week. And I’m not gonna lie…I kinda feel gross. Maybe I’ll get over it soon. Hope everyone has had a great week. Sorry I’ve been so MIA. The whole husband-with-a-hole-in-his-back thing is keeping me occupied. Not to mention the overnight stay in the local hospital. Fun times!! 

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Happy Birthday Lennon

Today would have been John Lennon’s 70th birthday. The hubs is a huge Lennon fan so I thought I should post a tribute. And as Mrs.Werginz pointed out, there’s no better way to celebrate than posting a naked John Lennon pic on the blog. Again. 

rollingstonejanuary1981    

Happy 70th birthday John Lennon. You are greatly missed.

Friday, October 8, 2010

It’s a sad, sad day…..

Things are not all rainbows and butterflies over here today. The penile stent removal was a failure. Well not so much a failure as “wasn’t even attempted.”

The stones are still there. The lithotripsy did basically nothing to help the situation. Bert was very pissed disappointed to leave with the stent still in his mister. We have a new doctor now and he’s scheduled for surgery on Monday. This time they will go in through his back, into the kidney, to remove the stones.

We have to spend the night at the hospital and to top it off he has to be there at 5:30. I’ll never survive this! Hopefully the problem will be alleviated this time and we can treat the cause of the stones after they are gone.

I’m pretty much over the whole kidney stone deal. It’s really starting to piss me off. Don’t these doctors know I’m pregnant and pissed off?! And it’s hard to yell at your husband when he has a stent in his penis.

Moving on…today would have been my Grandma’s 82nd birthday. We miss her like crazy! Happy Birthday G’ma!!

gma

 

Hopefully this is the last post about penile stents. I was told it would be removed Monday while John Paul is under anesthesia. (thank God!) Frankly I’m tired of my posts being centered around penises.

Have and awesome weekend! Oh and Roll Tide!!! :)